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In communication we know we should pay attention to the other people. Self-involved folks don't have conversations; they have monologues with audiences. So we should always pay attention to others, right? Yes. But we still need to pay attention to ourselves and what is going on in our lives.

A couple of strategies:

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  • Monitor your mood . Know how you are feeling. Prior to a conversation where I really blew it, I had been feeling left out of a group, vulnerable, and paranoid. Instead of dealing with my feelings and the situation that had caused them, I pretended I was fine and forged ahead. Bad decision! I should have realized the way I was feeling was real and would affect the way I interacted with others.
  • Pause for purpose. Make sure you know why you are having the conversation. Years ago, I was having an argument with a friend on the phone. She became so angry she hung up on me. Well, I was not going to put up with that. With lightning speed, I got her back on the phone. And well, that was as far as I had planned. I had no purpose for calling back. Needless to say, the resulting conversation was not meaningful. If you don't have a clear reason to have the conversation, if you don't know why hit the pause button.

It is important to focus on others in a conversation. But it's also essential to pay attention to yourself. Check in, see how you are feeling. Know why you are having the conversation. Make sure all your systems are go before you jump in.

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Posted in Senior Health Post Date 04/14/2018






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